Bruno Fernandes apparently led Man Utd’s analysis (he didn’t) and Cristiano Ronaldo ruined a marriage (he didn’t). Just another day in the media…
Bruno Mars
“After the game I said straight away I think we conceded three goals against a team that normally plays in possession,” Bruno Fernandes said on Wednesday. Beautiful quotes; we have them covered here.
So the main takeaways from that sentence are clearly this: He said that right after the game. And Manchester United conceded three similar goals against Manchester City.
He then said: “We could have avoided that, but we didn’t and they scored the goals. But like I said, we saw that, we knew what the mistakes were, and now more than seeing and understanding what mistakes we made [the key now] is not to repeat it and get back to the best possible results and winning games – that’s what matters in football.
Put that in the clickbait machine which is standard issue in all Reach offices and what do you get from the Mirror site?
‘Bruno Fernandes pointed out three mistakes Man Utd ‘cannot repeat’ in squad meeting
We’re beating a dull, lonely drum here, but it’s just not true.
He didn’t “point out three mistakes” in a team meeting; the “after the game, I said right away” is the clue there.
Shit, he didn’t even “underline three errors”; he highlighted three goals in which they erred.
Are we pedantic? Yes. Is it important? A little yes, because the descent into the edition of absolute bullshit is rapid and seems irreversible.
“Bruno Fernandes has revealed the role he played in a team meeting that dissected Manchester United’s abysmal defeat to Manchester City.”
Has he balls. He said: “We had a meeting as the manager said, we went to see the hard stuff, to see the mistakes we made.”
“The United squad held a squad meeting following City’s embarrassment, with Fernandes leading the analysis of their mistakes.”
So Erik ten Hag and his coaching staff took a step back and allowed a player to ‘lead the analysis’? Sorry but did they f***. And that is absolutely not what Bruno Fernandes is saying.
Penny for thoughts of David McDonnell, covering Manchester United for the DailyMirrorwho wrote in his post that “Ten Hag and his players brutally investigated the derby debacle, looking back at the game and analyzing their mistakes in a meeting that lasted nearly three hours”.
Curiously, he didn’t mention that Fernandes ‘directed the analysis of their mistakes’. But he may have to explain why it says otherwise on his newspaper’s website the next time he attends a Manchester United press conference.
Ron the rise
But if we’re looking for real, pure, unmixed clickbait, look no further than this absolute classic of the genre. The Sun website:
“Did Man United ace Ronaldo ruin the perfect marriage between model Giselle and Tom Brady?”
It’s glorious. Obviously, the answer is “no”, but that doesn’t matter; the key is the question and the marriage (“perfect marriage”, one might say) between British and American personalities. and the very obvious suggestion that Ronaldo and Giselle did dirty things to each other which are only debunked after seeing four adverts, after which your click earned them a penny or two.
This is called the U-turn
Adrien Rabiot scored twice in the Champions League on Wednesday night and he had an offer to join Manchester United this summer so…
‘Adrien Rabiot makes a U-turn after Man Utd offered to place him among the highest paid’ – Mirror site.
Someone should not be allowed to get back in a car until they learn what a U-turn actually is.
message in a bottle
Mediawatch misses a time when people were talking to each other and not always sending ‘messages’, like this one on the express website…
‘Liverpool star Darwin Nunez was seen giving a frustrated seven-word message to Van Dijk against Rangers’
…which was literally just Nunez saying something to his teammate.
But definitely the best thing about it express website the story is that Nunez didn’t even say seven words to Van Dijk; he said four. In Spanish. It only becomes a “seven-word message” when it is translated.
Messages MB
Other things that are not a “message”; sorry Express boys.
* Goals. These are not messages. (“Christopher Nkunku sends a clear message to Chelsea as RB Leipzig beat Celtic”)
* Anodyne comments that it is necessary to “follow” a manager because he is a “winner”. Not the posts. (Son Heung-min sends message to Antonio Conte at Tottenham board as stars are ‘frustrated’)
* Saying that you “don’t know” if your loan period could be shortened. Not a message. (“Chelsea star Callum Hudson-Odoi sends subtle message to Graham Potter about January recall”).
* Goals. We cannot stress this enough. No messages (“Leeds could release 18-year-old ‘warrior’ after messaging Jesse Marsch”).
A “message” is “a verbal, written or recorded communication sent or left with a recipient who cannot be contacted directly”. Does this sound like a goal?
Caramel Crisp
A little sparkle on LinkedIn for @FootballCliches like a little football banter makes a marketing testimonial. pic.twitter.com/fbz8sM6SHE
—Daniel O’Connor (@DanOconnor1984) October 6, 2022
#Man #Utd #latest #Ronaldo #ruins #marriage #Bruno #Fernandes #takes #manager
